Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

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Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

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I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

My wife has a bunch of really attractive friends, and she expects me to never say anything to her about how beautiful they are. Does this seem fair? I love my wife, and just commenting shouldn’t hurt anything, right?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have complete contempt for traitorism

What can be done to combat group stalking and harassment by an organized gang or society, particularly when they use universal sound weapons?

I actually pay taxes

I can read

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

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I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have a reading level above third grade

Do straight guys like to see cocks?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know who the president of Turkey really is

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I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

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I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Which country do you recommend for me to live in, England, the USA, Italy, Spanish, or Austria?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Have you ever had a bad gut feeling about someone and it was right?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I can count

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

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It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I see through liars

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t cotton to rapists

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y